My daughter has taken to calling me Linda. Yes, it's in reference to that Linda! My mother thinks it's a sign of disrespect. To be honest she had an issue with my daughter's lack of respect for her elders from an early age. The way she saw it back then, my daughter's constant questioning of her was a proof of that lack of respect. Her trying to understand my mother's motivation for the rules being imposed was seen as a lack of deference to elderly wisdom. By the same token, my daughter calling me anything other than mother, mama, or mom is also a sign of her not respecting me, my elderly wisdom (haha!), and my position (of authority) in her life.
Communication
In my experience, communicating with a teenage daughter is difficult. No corporate communication, interventions, and confrontations I encountered during my career have been more difficult than trying to maintain open and honest communication with my teenage daughter. Communication whereby we both felt understood and whereby we knew with certainty that our message had been received as intended. It has taken a lot of trial and error and I still often get it wrong. But here is where "Linda" has saved me. When she starts calling me Linda, it's my clue to tune into the conversation even more, to stop any multitasking that I'm doing, to do my utmost to suspend judgement, and most important of all to shift my perception. Her calling me Linda means I'm not getting something she is trying to communicate to me. So for me it's not a sign of disrespect, it's a sign of how important communicating with me is to her! So important that, rather than stop trying, she will express her frustration and call me to action by referring to me as Linda.
Suspending judgement
One of the most important things we as leaders get to do is suspend judgement. And that is exactly what "Linda" has taught me. Don't rush into judging my daughter to be disrespectful, don't rush into forcing my way of communicating unto her, and always remain open to shifting my perspective and learn. These are the same lessons that leaders dealing with a younger generation in the workforce are having to learn and apply. Our values are not necessarily the same as theirs. Our way of communicating is most definitely not the same as theirs. This does not make them wrong and it certainly does not negate the importance of their message.
There are a lot of "dealing with millennials in the workplace" leadership courses out there. They teach you the characteristics of millennials, give you guidelines on how to talk to them, and promise you that afterwards you will know exactly how to manage your millennials and keep them happy. These are certainly good information to have and very useful for developing mass communication. As leaders engaged in 1:1's, we need to remember however, that millennials are individuals and not a generic prototype. And the best thing we can do with individuals is to get our communication clues from them personally. The same way not all daughters out there are calling their mother Linda, not all millennials are the same. So as a leader we need to determine the "Linda" clue for each one we are in direct line of communication with. And yes, I know it's hard. I know we had rather have one standard of communication that fits everybody but the truth is that's not how human beings work. If we want to have meaningful connections, we have to put in effort and put aside judgement.
So I will remain grateful each and every time my daughter calls me Linda. As long as she doesn't call me Karen....