During the pandemic, I encountered quite a few leaders on the verge of burnout. They were successfully managing the challenges created by "working from home" while also making the necessary changes and pivots to ensure business continuity and growth. Despite being happy with their professional achievements they were still showing signs of burnout. Was the continued pressure too high or were they simply not taking the time to recover?
Empathy
The experience of each one of these leaders was unique and involved a combination of contributing factors. However they all had one thing in common, they were leading with empathy. Leading with empathy means that you engage your emotions when relating to your employees' situations. By attempting to understand how the other person feels you are likely to activate your own pain network. Not only does this produce emotional rather than rational responses, constantly activating your pain network is not sustainable for your body as it drains your energy. It's a very quick way to burnout.
Compassion
Yes, it's important for leaders to engage and take perspective however we must do so with compassion rather than empathy. With compassion, we are focused on adding value to the other person by finding out how we can support them rather than just connecting with them on an emotional level. We remain relaxed and connected to our rational brain rather than evoking emotional responses.
Aside from the personal risk of burnout, there are other risks leaders should take into consideration when it comes to leading with empathy. The employees on the receiving end of that empathy can get frustrated when there is no resolution or positive development. Employees can start taking advantage of an emphatic leader by constantly barraging the leader with sob stories. Team members can become resentful of the ones who get showered with empathy based on the leader's emotional responses and decisions.
As leaders we need to relate to our employees, it's in the company's best interest that we understand what drives them. For our focus to be sustainable, both from a corporate perspective as from a physical perspective, it needs to be done with compassion rather than empathy.
So if you want to show yourself some true self-care as a leader, switch from empathy to compassion.